Tarnation

It’s not often that I sit through a film and it has actually evoked some manner of emotion from my gut. I usually don’t feel anything after watching a film, besides a lingering giggle if I have watched a comedy or a slight shudder if it’s a thriller. But the film, Tarnation by Jonathan Caouette left me feeling like crap to be honest. I felt terrible after that movie, and I’m not saying the film was terrible by any means, it’s just that the absolute tragic portrayal of his mother - it’s just really unfair. I think the film in many ways made me think about my own mother and all her eccentric-like behaviors in the past. It made me miss her at times too.

Caouette’s style of editing, and what he chose to include made some scenes difficult to watch. I felt like I shouldn’t be watching some of the more private moments, and I think that was exactly his goal. In an interview with the BBC, he tells them “I love the idea of making a narrative where it feels like the audience member is peeping in on something that they don’t necessarily know if they should be peeping in on.” There were definite scenes where as the viewer I felt very intrusive, and I was tempted to almost look away. For me the scene where we see the degree of Renee’s mental degeneration towards the end of the film made me think that it was almost cruel to have her exposed like that at the same time it evoked so many feelings of sympathy from me that I couldn’t feel more sorry for her and all the crap she’s endured.

The entire film is like one long video confessional for Caouette. In the article “Video Confessions” Renov (the author) states that in one video “the subjects seek not forgiveness but expressive release in the form of dialogues” which I think has some baring on Tarnation. I think that the people in it, when in front of the camera feel some form of release by expressing themselves or else they would not say anything. I also think Caouette is using this film to as an apology for not being there for his mother. The scene where she tells him she’s all he’s got and that he never appreciated her was revelatory because even though Renee is highly delusional at times, I realized that more than anything she’s a very lonely person.